I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
