When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
