So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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