So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
