I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she smelled like a LAN party
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
