I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
