idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
