put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
