12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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