Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
