i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
