I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
