I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize