dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
All the doctor said was why
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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