Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
