we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
