So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
