I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
