she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
send nudes
from the living room?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
