I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize