So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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