ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
