I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
