OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
