How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
