yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Randomize
