bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
