I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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