How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
