No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So vagazzling was a success
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
