I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
