i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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