Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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