The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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