Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
