I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
