Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
