he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
