I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize