I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
