Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
