Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Even my vagina gasped.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
