I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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