Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
