don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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