Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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