I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
