Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
