We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize