Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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