If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
