So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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