There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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