So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
