Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
