Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
